you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
