Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
