Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
