You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
