I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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