I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize