I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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