Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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