96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
