In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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