Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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