i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
