Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
