i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
