6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize