the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Randomize
