hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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