You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize