covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
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