So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
