I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
