the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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