9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
