wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
