Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
