Quick, to the slutcave!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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