just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
