you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
