For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Randomize
