I forgot how hot balto sounded
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
