# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
