So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
