Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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