i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
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Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
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I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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