i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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