dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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