I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
