I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
