guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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