did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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