Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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