I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
