Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
