sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
