you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
