no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
