WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
