We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize