wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
