I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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