Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
