we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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