pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
