Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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