everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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