his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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