Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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