You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Are we still banned from the library?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.