Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The uberlube is also flammable
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize