Please, let me fuck your mom
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
