id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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