why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you will always have a special place in my vag
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
