hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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