Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
