So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
